1. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
2. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
3. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
4. Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM.
5. Obama met with small businesses – GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
6. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
8. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
9. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, “finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in the US ?”
10. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.
11. The Mafia is laying off judges.
12. If the bank returns your check marked “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.