There are a lot of perks to being a celebrity. For one, there’s the love and adoration of the public, the non-stop party lifestyle and inordinate sums of money. Apparently, there’s also a perk where you get to use litigation to force people to be quiet when they say nasty things about you. So, without further ado, here’s a list of nine of the most ludicrous and frivolous lawsuits levelled by celebrities to date.
Dustin Hoffman vs. Los Angeles Magazine
Dustin Hoffman is very well known for the part he played in 1982s Tootsie, a part where he dressed as a woman. However, this actor won a lawsuit of $3 million when Los Angeles magazine photoshopped him into a dress from the movie. Apparently Dustin doesn’t have the greatest sense of humour and is very particular over who is allowed to put him in a dress.
Lindsay Lohan vs. E-Trade
During 2010’s Superbowl, a commercial aired for E-trade, a finance firm, starring a promiscuous, milk-addicted baby named Lindsay. Of course, Lohan presumed that the baby was modelled after her (the resemblance is uncanny) and promptly sued E-trade for $100 million, claiming that the advert used her name without permission and crassly referred to her well-publicised run-ins with drugs and law enforcement. It seems unnecessary to point out the irony of Lohan acting like such a baby.
Johnny Carson vs. Here’s Johnny Portable Toilets
In 1976, a budding US entrepreneur began a new company: ‘Here’s Johnny Portable Toilets’. Concerned that the company was exploiting his legendary catchphrase and certainly not wanting to have his persona associated with the latest in toilet technology, Johnny Carson brought a suit against the company. He won, and the company, though not shut down, was required to stop using the catchphrase. But that wasn’t enough. In 2005, subsequent to Carson’s death, the company attempted to challenge the previous court decision and bring back the Here’s Johnny Portable Toilet. Again they failed when the original ruling was upheld, and Carson was allowed to rest in peace, free from the fear of toilet merchants besmirching his good name.
Allen Heckard vs. Michael Jordan and Phil Knight
Allen Heckard was born with an unfortunate disadvantage in life: he looks just like Michael Jordan, one of America’s most famous athletes. So when Heckard got tired of constantly turning down autograph and photograph requests in the street, he did the only thing he could think of: he sued Jordan. That wasn’t enough, though. Not content with levelling his wrath at ultra-rich pro basketball player himself, he took this lawsuit one step further and also sued Phil Knight, the founder of Nike since they promoted Jordan, unwittingly causing Heckard unwanted publicity. He sued for $832 million and the case is still working its way through the courts. We have to say though, he does look a lot like Michael Jordan.
Mariah Carey vs. Mary Carey
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Mariah Carey wasn’t too happy when she found out that an adult film star had chosen a stage name a little too similar to her own. Mariah took this claim to court stating that it was damaging her image. She won the case and Mary was forced to change her stage name at the beginning of 2007. Was Mariah worried that the public wouldn’t be able to tell the difference?
Nicholas Cage vs. His Business Manager
Now celebrities have sued people for some strange things, but this is just plain weird. And hilarious. Get a load of this: Nicholas Cage actually sued his own business manager after he became short of cash. He sued for $20 million claiming his manager had defrauded him which reduced his net worth. The manager then counter-sued stating it was Cage’s spending that had led to his lack of money. While we agree that his business manager probably should have warned him against garbage like 2006’s remake of ‘The Wicker Man’, this is desperation at its peak.
Dallas Page vs Jay-Z
Pro wrestler Dallas Page, better known professionally as Diamond Dallas Page, invented a signature hand gesture and called it the diamond cutter, which he then copyrighted. Jay-Z used this gesture in 2005 and, of course, Page sued him. They eventually agreed on an undisclosed amount and the case was dropped.
Fort Worth Resident vs. Elvis Presley Estate
In Fort Worth, Texas man tried to sue Elvis Presley’s Estate claiming that they had lied and he had proof that the golden child of rock and roll was still very much alive and kicking. He went on to claim that he spoke to Presley on a regular basis over the phone and had been doing so for years. As you can imagine he didn’t win the case.
Kookaburra vs. Men at Work
The band Men at Work, perhaps best known for their 1982 hit “Land Down Under” were accused of illegally using music from the children’s song “Kookaburra” which was written in 1934 by Marion Sinclair and is now owned by Larrikin Music. The publishing company sued the band for using two notes that were very similar to the children’s song and won the case.
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