What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
A TOOTHBRUSH. COME ON.
Every man has one, some are big, some are small. Blowing them feels great, but they drip if you aren’t careful. What are they?
Noses. They’re noses. Why would you even think… Ugh.
If you put three fingers into these holes, it’s gonna be a shocker. What am I talking about?
A POWER OUTLET. BECAUSE THAT WOULD GIVE YOU AN ELECTRIC SHOCK. DON’T DO IT.
What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?
MONEY. Your mind is basically a citizen of the gutter.
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?
Seatbelts. Ew, man.
What gets wetter when things get steamy?
Steam boats! An integral part of the evolution of marine travel!
What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft?
Chewing gum, you perv!
What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?
An elevator. You’re a disgusting human being.
What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is the hottest part of the movie industry?
POPCORN, OBVIOUSLY.
What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber. Haha, got you.
What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?
A college education.
What’s squishy, bouncy, and comes in pairs?
Two bunnies!
What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Toothpaste. Dental hygiene is so important. You sick freak.
You play with it at night before bed. You can’t be seen fiddling with it at work. You only let very, veryspecial people touch it. What is it?
Your smart phone! DUH.
Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
A ring! Get your mind out of the gutter!