It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, “Tell me about the day you died.” The man said, “Oh, [...]

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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. ‘Tie me up,’ she purred, ‘and you can do anything you want.’ So he tied her up and went golfing. —– A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She [...]

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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews And testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun. ‘We must know that you will [...]

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’ I said, ‘Dust.’ And then the fight started… ****************************************** My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she [...]

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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday. ‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose [...]

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.  – Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If [...]

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.” The pharmacists eyes got big and [...]

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The driver says, ‘Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.’  Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’  As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his [...]

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