The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them.
So one day he asked Bubba, “Just what the hell is your secret?”
So Bubba replies, “Well Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the [...]

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A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he’s stopped by a police officer.
Officer: “Good evening sir. We’re testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”.
Man: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get [...]

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor [...]

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This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she [...]

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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the [...]

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Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther,
“Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different! The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to [...]

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So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you [...]

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The Population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 20 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing [...]

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I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring [...]

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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. ‘Tie me up,’ she purred, ‘and you can do anything you want.’
So he tied her up and went golfing.
—–
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the [...]

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